I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
