How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
