so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
