is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
