like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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