Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
