ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
