So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
