is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
