Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
