Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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