she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
