At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
