called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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