stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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