I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
