Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
