I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
