1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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