Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize