I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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