I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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