Buhtt sex?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
