What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
