Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
