you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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