Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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