I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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