That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
