Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
