I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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