with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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