Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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