she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
