my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize