do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
