white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You have to summon your inner elephant
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
