if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
