Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
