Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
