I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
