i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
