Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize