I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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