And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
