I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
