i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
