You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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