That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
