so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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