New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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