I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
