OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
