Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
