farters have to be the big spoon...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize