I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I could make wine with my vomit
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
