Little spoons don't ask big questions
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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