At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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