I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
