i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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