just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
